Learn from mistake

What's blog for?
Not for you to stalk me. It's for me to story my own story.
I got no one to trust, so I tell my blog.

I'm a mouse, scared of everything.
I care when people gossip about me, talk behind me, backstab and betray me.
Sometimes when I'm in a very good mood, I don't care what people say.
Still, I hope friends can be more straight forward to me.

I don't tell people my stuffs because I trust no one.
I got so much inside me, but I don't know who to tell.
I can tell parents, but still there's a gap between parents and child.
Tell my brother, I just can't open my mouth.

Since I'm scared of problems happen on me, I always careful on whatever I do.
No matter where I go, what I do, I believe if I behave, nothing will happen.

I don't even want to try smoking, take drugs or....to be drunk.
Not even first step that I try smoking, unless I think that smoking is good which is impossible.
Won't give my number to strangers, I don't meet strangers.
I don't go out with guys 1-1 if we are not close.
I protect myself (hope my family knows that)
Although guys Q-ing to chase me, I don't rugi myself :D
Even blogging, I try not to say anything wrong.

Although this problem is not big, and is solved.
But I never thought this will happen on me. It's like a nightmare to me.

another thing that I only can keep it in my heart:
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431119196 211255 59 10111212 85.

I always read my post over and over again to check whether the content will make people think of something else, or misunderstand.
I worry too much.
How can I cure myself?